I let myself go there this weekend. I mentioned (here) that I sometimes have these fears that D is going to die at work and that I'll be left a young widow. There's something really powerful and comforting about knowing where I'll go and how I'll live if that ever does happen.
I'm in San Francisco in the tiniest little house, more like a stand alone room. My little house is in the shadow behind a big huge house. It's shielded from the busy street. It's just me, and the cats of course. No car, no stove, no tv, it's a very simple quiet life. I go to work, I take long walks, I do things I don't do now. It's the first time I'm ever really alone.