This is by no means a, I’ve got it all figured out now let me tell you what you need to do kind of a post. It’s more like a, I’m trying to figure this shit out and in order for me to do that, I need to get these thoughts out of my head and into the universe. Sometimes that’s all it takes right? I don’t think this is one of those times, but hey, you never know. On a side note, I do know I am what some people would refer to as an “over sharer”. I get the pros and cons of being an over sharer, but I am who I am, and I honestly believe that the only way to find people like me or people who may have been where I am and can help me in my journey, is to open up.
Anyways, onto it now.
Hope, disappointment and expectations.
I know with 100% certainty that they’re all connected. When I think about all the disappointment
I’ve felt in my lifetime, I know it’s a direct result of my expectations being
to high and my hoping that things might be different.
I tell myself that I’m a realest and that I’ve lost the
ability to hope, but the Christmas presents wrapped and sitting in my hall
closet to family members I barely talk to and haven’t seen in ages says
otherwise.
I tell myself that I won’t let these people disappointment me
anymore because after 34 years I know who they are and I know things will not
change. That’s a lie because I end up feeling hurt.
I tell myself that it doesn’t matter, but it does.
I’ve lowered my expectations a lot over the years, but
they’re still too high and they will be unless I can learn to expect nothing. There are just
some things don't think I will ever accept though and because of that, I feel like I will always
end up disappointed. How do you have
relationships with people and not expect anything of them?
The good news is that this doesn’t affect me 95% of the time
because I keep my distance. The bad news
is that’s the only way to avoid the disappointment. Is it possible as a human to ever really lose
hope? I hope so.
the way i see things - and believe me, i've had some MAJOR disappointments in my lifetime - the ones who truly are your loved ones will never really disappoint. they may do things to annoy you but that's different than disappointment. and in my mind, things only affect you if you let them. shit happens with a friend or you get into a fight with your sibling...in the end, it's just that - a fight. maybe some mean things were said but in the end, you still love them, right?
ReplyDeleteso i tend to just try to keep my perspective and try to remember that you will have squabbles with others because no two people are the same and you can never really have the same opinion on things so there's bound to be arguments etc...but in the end, you still care and love them and isn't that all that really matters?
-kathy
Vodka and Soda
While I realize you are writing about a specific situation/s- think about if you always had low expectations- Would you be where you are at the other 95% of your life where you have been successful and are happy. You don't choose your family (but you can make a new one!) and well some of us got the short-end of the stick on that one. Some people will not change, they could but they will never take those steps and you can only put in so much to try to motivate the change, there has to be a point where you turn the other way. I don't believe in using my energy towards situations and people who continuously cause disappointment or hurt, you can only be in control of you. I'm one to personally just minimize the impact it has on my life as much as possible and sometimes that means closing doors. Hugs S!
ReplyDeleteYou should never have to come to a situation with zero expectations. That will set you up for disappointment as well. It's not all on YOU for actually HAVING expectations from people.
ReplyDelete