Sunday, February 9, 2014

I Don't Want To Hustle


I get it.  I know what the hustle's all about, and it's great.  I've been hustling pretty much my whole life.  I was taking care of my little brothers, doing the grocery shopping and cooking dinner by the time I was 8.  I'm the first and only of my family to graduate from college.  I've built a successful career, a successful marriage.  If you've got it in you, I say go get em.  Just be careful.  The hustle is a way of life and once you're where you finally want to be, it's hard to change.  I don't want to hustle anymore. 

I know this is a reoccurring theme around these parts lately, and I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but so much of my time these days is spent trying to learn to relax and live a more carefree life.


On Thursday night I lost it in my therapist's office.  I started crying and couldn't stop.  The hustler is me is fighting so hard to stay in control.  Sometimes it feels like I'm losing the battle to be who I truly want to be.  Why can't I just take care of myself?  Lately I've found myself going non-stop.  I've been sick with a cold.  You know it's true what they say about your mental health affecting your physical health.  I haven't been taking breaks at work.  I was meant to spend Saturday in the office, but after my little meltdown Thursday, I decided I better take a step back.  Why does it always have to come to that, meltdowns?

I created this little stream of images to help me remember what's most important in this life, me.  I will slow down.  I will relax and I will take care of myself.


Right now I need daily, even hourly reminders to keep myself on track.  I'd love links to your favorite mantras/images.  Whatever it is that helps you be who you want to be.  Until next time friends, XO.

10 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you took some time for yourself this weekend! You deserve it and it is so good you are able to step back and you are working on it. Here is to a super successful week! Hugs S!

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    1. Aw Mariah, thank you so much. Your support and encouragement is so refreshing and very much appreciated :). Thanks also for your tips on starting a FB page for Brass Honey. I got it up and running yesterday. Hugs friend.

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  2. it's so important to take a step back, breathe and take time for yourself. when i feel like things are spinning out of control, i will take a step back and try to look at the whole picture; sometimes all you need is a little perspective. i usually feel this way when it comes to work and typically in the middle of a project when everyone suddenly wakes up and wonders what the hell is going on because they've been screwing around for the past few months. that's when the shit usually hits the fan and everyone is freaking out. so i take a step back and think: will any one die if this email isn't answered within the next 2 hours? will any one get physically hurt if they don't get their service? the answer is always NO to these two things but these two questions really helps me breathe, relax and then set my mind straight to prioritize what needs to be done.

    hope next week isn't as crazy....hang in there.

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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    1. Kathy, thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment. It means so much. My shrink asked if it was worth dying for (the things I've been stressing about). It may sound dramatic, but it got the point across, and my answer of course was no. You're right, nobody is going to die if I don't take care of whatever it is that they need. I'm going to start tomorrow by taking a 6 page to do list and mapping out my tasks over a one month time period. I'm relocating the company I work for corporate headquarters and while there's a shit ton of work to be done over the course of the next two months, it doesn't all have to be done tomorrow. Perspective is the name of the game :). Thank you again. XO

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  3. Oh Shannon, I wanna give you a big hug! It sounds like you need a break.
    I went through similar stuff last year, with always taking on too much, then getting stressed out about it and having regular melt-downs. What I did is quit one of my part-time jobs (I used to play the organ at church, but really did not enjoy it at all any more in the end) and sticking to the schedule of my "real" job, which is a 4 on, 4 off rotation. (Almost) no extra shifts any more.
    It made a world of difference. Even though I felt like a whimp in the beginning ("how come I can't even handle a full-time job? Millions of people do!"), I now unashamedly enjoy it.

    Here are some words I (try) to live by:
    "The mind is everything. What you think, you become." (Buddha)
    "For what it's worth: It's never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over." (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

    I have a ton more on my Pinterest, in case you are interested: http://www.pinterest.com/mivasophia/wise-words/

    Here is to a better and calmer week!

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    1. Mariam, I wish I could hug you right back :) "For what it's worth: It's never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over." Geez, that really hits home. For 30+ years I worked to be this person, the hustler. Trying to be someone else now is proving to be incredibly hard. I know the work is worth it though so I'll keep pressing on. I'm so happy you're in a better place. Going to check out your Pinterest board now. Hugs.

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  4. I wish I had some good advice to give you. I'm probably on the opposite end of the spectrum. I have NO problem relaxing and actually carve out time to do so. I think that's the biggest thing... making the time!

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  5. I hate that you're going through this cause I know how much it sucks!! All our lives, we're told to go to college, get a great job and work our asses off. And then what? 30+ years of the rat race and stress? No one ever accounts for or warns you about the burn out. I get it. I'm all out of hustle too. One of my favorite quotes is "Even the darkest hour has only 60 minutes." This isn't forever. You will get through it. We can get through it together :)

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  6. I can absolutely relate. I have a habit of filling my plate to the max and then being miserable about it. My goal this year is to choose a career (I graduated this month) that is flexible and allows me time to do other things, relax, and live. Best of luck!

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  7. This might sound ridiculous, but I schedule time to do nothing. And I say no, a lot. 100% more than I used to, which was never. I no longer feel bad saying no to something and giving no excuse. I have to take care of myself or I won't be good for anything else. I require a good mix of productivity, social stuff, quality time with my spouse and most importantly quality time with ME. Alone time saves me.

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