Thankful Thoughts

Well you guys, the move was pushed back until this Friday.  The bad news is that I was working like a dog to meet our original deadline (17 hours of overtime in one week).  I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel and then BAM, the hammer got dropped.  The good news however is that I got to enjoy the weekend!  I went for a much needed mani/pedi.  I had my brows thread.  I spent Saturday afternoon vegged out on the couch doing this.

See my pretty nails.  It was bliss I tell you, sheer bliss.  I am so thankful for the downtime and I'm ready to push thought this next week.

I was down at the construction site this afternoon for a walkthrough and took this picture.  Check out the view from my new digs.  Not bad right?  Last week when I wrote, I was under a great deal of stress and was literally limping towards the finish line.  Funny how some time off can change your perspective.  The truth is, this project is great for my career and I'm beyond excited to be moving downtown and into Petco Park.  I'm hopeful that the new location will bring new energy to our workforce.  More so, I'm grateful for the chance to have played such a big part in such a huge project.

I'm thankful for these thankful posts.  I've noticed a huge change in the way I'm looking at things.  Little unimportant things are catching my eye and stopping me in my tracks.  Little bits of everyday life just screaming at me to see them in all of their glory.  Just some weeds and a wall that caught my eye on a walk last week

I'm thankful for you guys.  I'm sure you'll all disappear when you don't hear from me for days, but you don't.  This place is such a great outlet for me.  Only 8 months in and I couldn't imagine Brass Honey not being a part of my life.

I'm thankful for D who continues to cheer me on and support me throught this madness.  He doesn't even flinch. 

I hope your weeks are off to a great start.  I'll be back Wednesday for Humpday Confessions with the fabulous Kathy.  Until then.

Day Dreaming

I've spent a lot of time day dreaming about our upcoming trip to Las Vegas this past week.  There's something about Vegas that's just so freeing!  Caution to the wind, money is no object, excess everything.  For someone who's as structured as I am, it's a complete 180, and I love it.  I was flipping through some pictures from last years trip and thought I'd share.  T-minus 27 days!

Ridiculous in the best way pretty much sums up our last Vegas Vacation.  One Friday back in July after a long week of work and some family drama we spontaneously decided to hop on a plane and fly away.  We are not spontaneous people so that was absolutely part of the excitement.  Three hours later we were packed, had a flight booked, a room reserved and a car waiting in the driveway to take us to the airport.  We arrived at the Wynn around 10pm and I proceeded to immediately change into my pajamas and order an obscene amount of room service.  Woohoo, wild night.  In typical fashion D hit the gaming floor and we commenced in the morning. 

We always always start at least one morning in Las Vegas at Margaritaville.  They've got a great outdoor patio overlooking Las Vegas Blvd, but what really keeps us coming back for more is their red bull and vodka mimosas.  I'll cut to the chase here friends, a night in Vegas means a hair of the dog kind of morning, just go with it.  After a few of these amazing concoctions we're always feeling on top of the world and ready to take LV by storm.  I will say the Flamingo is a bit run down these days, but their Bugsy Bar has this nostalgic feel about it and we always enjoy playing some video poker there.  

I definitely started my day out lucky and I'm happy to report that it only went up from there!

D hit a very similar jackpot a few minutes later and we were on cloud 9.

It seemed like whatever we did we couldn't lose and the day went on like that with us cashing in ticket after ticket.

 I eventually took myself to the nearest Prada where I bought this amazing little wallet in orange.

I was feeling generous, you know with all of this free money, so D came home with a little something too!

Later that night we got all done up and hit my favorite restaurant on the planet, Sinatra.  This place just screams class to me.  The little lamps on the tables, the dragonfly napkins (which I now own thanks to some more casino winnings!)  The wait staff in tuxedos.  The music and of course the food.  I want to order the meatballs and polena fries for my starter, entree and dessert they're just that good.  I have never had a bad experience here and can't wait to return next month.

The next day I hit the spa early for a facial, we enjoyed bottomless mimosas at the Wynn buffet and then rented a cabana by the pool (thank you again casino winnings).  No joke this was the most perfect Vegas Vacation ever.  Lord knows I've been taken to the cleaners and down on my luck at least a dozen times, but that's just the way Vegas is.  You never know.  I can't wait to see how the cards play out for us this time around. 

Glass Half Full

Source

 Guys!  I've seriously lost any grasp I had on what day of the week it is, or what time of the day for that matter.  I look at my watch and BAM, it's already 5:00pm, or whatever time it happens to be.  Anyways, for my personal well being I need to look at this crazy work schedule glass half full.  So here goes.

These long hours mean I'm making extra money!  It's almost to the point that I don't care, but hey, we'll go with it.  When I'm unwinding in Vegas at the Encore Spa and I splurge on an extra treatment, I'll be happy.

I'm gaining incredible experience that I know I can use down the road for MYSELF. That is if I can get over the hurdle that I think starting my own business would be.

In a week I'll be working downtown where there are amazing options for lunch and happy hours.  Bye bye sleepy office park with not much else but Subway and McDonalds.

D is doing whatever he can to keep me sane which means, my chores.

Co-workers are being nicer to me because they know how much stress I'm under.

I'm only eating two meals a day and am not snacking at all so I've gotta be losing weight right?

This madness is not permanent. 

Your turn.  Dig deep and let me know the worst thing you guys have going on right now, then let me know one thing you can be grateful for because of it.   We can do this guys!

Will This Be My Last Climb?

The trouble with wanting more is that you're never happy with what you have.  It's never ending, just like all of these circles. 

Remember when I said I didn't want to Hustle?  I created a cute little graphic and everything.  Well, by created, I mean that I used PicMonkey.  Anyways, clearly that is not happening here in my life.  If it's in your personality to "hustle", is it even an option to stop?  I've spent months in therapy trying to slow down, and nothing.  After today I will have worked 9 of the last 10 days.  That kinda sucks right, but I'm sure we've all been there before.  Every major project seems like it's a race to the finish line.  My next day off won't be until April 5th though.  Yeah, you heard that right, April 5th.  Twenty days with one day off, now that's a problem.  Which brings me to a few thoughts.  Want to follow me down the rabbit hole?  If not, not biggie, I'll be back tomorrow with my list of grateful.

Why am I doing this, killing myself?  It's not like I'm moving MY company.  I'm just an employee at the Manager level, not even a big fancy VP.  I know my boss didn't anticipate me playing as big a role in this move as I have, so why am I?  Even now, I keep saying yes, I keep saying I can do that.

I blame the hustler.  Yeah, I'm now referring to myself like I have multiple personalities (the hustler vs. my quiet little soul).  It's me always wanting more, always wanting "better".  I tell myself that the exposure this project has given me will be good for my career.  I'm like a heat seeker.  I see an opportunity for success and I pounce.  Will this be the project that get me to the next level?  That's how my mind works.

Why do I want to get to the next level?  Why am I not happy where I am?

I don't know!  I do know that with more money comes more responsibility.  Why would I want that for my already stressed out self?  Why can't I stop being an overachiever in the workplace? 

A lot of my self worth comes from the job that I do and the money that I make.  Will that one day cause me to crash and burn?  Will it ever be enough?

Admitting to that a large part of my self worth comes from my job and the money I make makes me sad because I know that that's not what life is about.  This is why people leave Corporate America.  I mean I actually feel sick to my stomach writing this. 

What will it take to make me realize that the calm and quiet are worth more than a paycheck?

And what happens after this project is over and I don't achieve my anticipated goal?  I mean imagine the dissapointment.  I'll resent myself for giving so much of my time and energy to something I just said I knew wasn't what's important in life.  I'll resent my employer.  Crazy because like I said, I know this was not expected of me.  It's a lose, lose, and that's never a good situation. 

And if I do come out on top?  Will this madness stop?  I mean, can you stop a freight train?  It may sound dramatic but that's the way this side of me is.  

It feels good to get this all out of my head.  And please know that I'm not complaining y'all (still watching too much Southern Charm and now the Private Lives of Nashville Wives obviously).  Just a brain dump.  It helps clear my head which usually helps me refocus and charge on.  I hope you've all had an amazing weekend.  Thanks for reading and let's chat soon.  XO