Will This Be My Last Climb?

The trouble with wanting more is that you're never happy with what you have.  It's never ending, just like all of these circles. 

Remember when I said I didn't want to Hustle?  I created a cute little graphic and everything.  Well, by created, I mean that I used PicMonkey.  Anyways, clearly that is not happening here in my life.  If it's in your personality to "hustle", is it even an option to stop?  I've spent months in therapy trying to slow down, and nothing.  After today I will have worked 9 of the last 10 days.  That kinda sucks right, but I'm sure we've all been there before.  Every major project seems like it's a race to the finish line.  My next day off won't be until April 5th though.  Yeah, you heard that right, April 5th.  Twenty days with one day off, now that's a problem.  Which brings me to a few thoughts.  Want to follow me down the rabbit hole?  If not, not biggie, I'll be back tomorrow with my list of grateful.

Why am I doing this, killing myself?  It's not like I'm moving MY company.  I'm just an employee at the Manager level, not even a big fancy VP.  I know my boss didn't anticipate me playing as big a role in this move as I have, so why am I?  Even now, I keep saying yes, I keep saying I can do that.

I blame the hustler.  Yeah, I'm now referring to myself like I have multiple personalities (the hustler vs. my quiet little soul).  It's me always wanting more, always wanting "better".  I tell myself that the exposure this project has given me will be good for my career.  I'm like a heat seeker.  I see an opportunity for success and I pounce.  Will this be the project that get me to the next level?  That's how my mind works.

Why do I want to get to the next level?  Why am I not happy where I am?

I don't know!  I do know that with more money comes more responsibility.  Why would I want that for my already stressed out self?  Why can't I stop being an overachiever in the workplace? 

A lot of my self worth comes from the job that I do and the money that I make.  Will that one day cause me to crash and burn?  Will it ever be enough?

Admitting to that a large part of my self worth comes from my job and the money I make makes me sad because I know that that's not what life is about.  This is why people leave Corporate America.  I mean I actually feel sick to my stomach writing this. 

What will it take to make me realize that the calm and quiet are worth more than a paycheck?

And what happens after this project is over and I don't achieve my anticipated goal?  I mean imagine the dissapointment.  I'll resent myself for giving so much of my time and energy to something I just said I knew wasn't what's important in life.  I'll resent my employer.  Crazy because like I said, I know this was not expected of me.  It's a lose, lose, and that's never a good situation. 

And if I do come out on top?  Will this madness stop?  I mean, can you stop a freight train?  It may sound dramatic but that's the way this side of me is.  

It feels good to get this all out of my head.  And please know that I'm not complaining y'all (still watching too much Southern Charm and now the Private Lives of Nashville Wives obviously).  Just a brain dump.  It helps clear my head which usually helps me refocus and charge on.  I hope you've all had an amazing weekend.  Thanks for reading and let's chat soon.  XO  

Tips For Moving Out Of State

Moving from NY to FL

Did you guys know I was a New Yorker for a few years?  Now don't go getting all wild eyed and dreamy about how amazing it must have been to live in Manhattan, we lived in Williamsville, NY, a suburb of Buffalo.  Why is it that anytime you say you lived in NY everyone automatically assumes you're talking about the city, like Manhattan is the only place in the entire state?  Anyways, after being New Yorkers for about three years, we decided to head south, WAY south to Miramar, Florida.  Not my favorite place on earth, in fact, I'm pretty sure Miramar, FL is what hell would be like if I believed in such a place.  Needless to say a year later I was beyond happy to head back home to the great state of California!  We had come full circle.
 

Whether you're move is something you've wanted for years, or it's a mandated by your job, it's stressful.  Hell, even moving locally is stressful.  Packing your things while trying to work and maintain a semi-normal lifestyle, good luck.  Finding a moving company who won't break all your shit, and if they do, who is properly insured so that you're compensated, good luck.  

Out of state or cross country moves are like stress on top of stress.  Often times you don't have much more than a three day weekend to find a place to live.  How do you get your cars there?  I don't know about you, but I wasn't about to drive from CA to NY.  Let me stop you there, get any ideas of the worlds greatest road trip out of your head, especially if you're traveling with pets.  While we flew from CA to NY (which was it's own nightmare), D and I decided to drive from NY to FL.  Petal to the metal the entire way.  We ate all of our meals at the gas stations we stopped to refuel at.  One night in a crappy hotel (they're aren't a lot of 5 stars along the highway that will accommodate travels with pets) and we were all miserable.  I mean look at these faces, and my arm.

The girls traveling from NY to FL

My arm after getting the girls from NY to FL

So yea, you've arrived.  Now it's time to get a new drivers license.  That's a real fun process when you're legally blind, every state has different requirements you know.  You've got to re-register to vote, register your cars, get new license plates, find new doctors, new dentists, new churches, a new job, new friends.  It's totally and completely life changing.  Lord help those who move to a new country.  I mean on top everything above, having to complete immigration paperwork, learning a new language a new currency, and I'm sure a million other things.

For five years D and I were moving machines.  Selling, buying, selling, renting, renting and buying houses all along the way (that's the actual sequence of things).  The first time around things were exciting and completely frightening all at once.  With each move we gained more experience some of which I'll be sharing with you today.

1. Don't buy clothes until you get to where you're going.  We moved from San Diego to Williamsville in early March, which means full blown winter.  I remember trying to shop for clothes for an east coast winter here at my local mall.  What a joke!  Good golly I was so young and naive.  Me being the planner that I am though, I wanted to be prepared.  Let me tell you, there's no way to prepare for -19 degree temps in a climate where the average temperature is 72.  Bring what you have and wait to shop in your new home state.  True story, when we landed at the Buffalo airport before I had even stepped outside, I started crying because it was so cold.  Day 1 and I was already crying!

This is me in Buffalo after our first night at the crappy Holiday Inn (again, your choices are few and far between when you're traveling with pets).   I'm attempting to wipe the snow off of our rental car so we can go buy a heating blanket.  My advice, save your money and buy a heated mattress pad instead #soworthit.

2. Explore, not just your town or the largest nearby city, but your state and your coast.  Life is full of change and you never know how long you'll be somewhere, so make the most of it.  Trust me it's a lot less expensive to get from FL to SC than it is from CA to SC.  We took full advantage of our east coast locations and made multiple trips to Canada, Philadelphia, and to Penn State to attend football games (D's alma mator).  We spent our weekends and holidays in FL driving from coast to coast spending time D's parents.  My only regret, not making it to Key West.

We Are Penn State!

3. Bring along your favorite food or brands.  Almost everything will be an adjustment and not being able to find your favorite brand of mayo might just put you over the edge.  Hellmanns???  I never did find sourdough bread in NY and D had to continuously order his hair product online because we couldn't find it anywhere in FL.  This may seem like a small things, but every little comfort you can provide yourself helps. 

4. Cheer for the local sports teams.  I'm not saying sell out, I'm just saying join in and cheer for the home team (if they're not playing your team of course).  Little things like this will help you feel a bit more connected to the people in your new state.  Something about drinking beer and cheering for the same outcome does that for you.

D and I at the first Winter Classic cheering on the Buffalo Sabres

5. Have a trip back home planned before you leave for your new state.  I don't care what anyone says, the first time you really truly fly the coupe and go it alone with no family or friends is hard.  And I'm not talking college either because I've been there, done that, this is different.  Believe me when I say, you'll miss being connected to people who know you, connected to the familiar.  Even if it's a year out, have something planned, you'll need it.

6. Embrace the culture.  Buffalo had a huge Polish community.  Florida had lots of Latin influence.  Eat the food, go to a festival or an art show.  I'm now addicted to this fantastic Colombian soup, ajiaco, which I never would have discovered had I not stepped out of my comfort zone and experienced the culture that only living in a new state brought me.

7.  Negotiate your realtor's commission (whether you're buying or selling).  Each state may have different rates, but I believe the average is 3%.  Always negotiate that, even if it's just by half a percent.  Every time you sell a home you're losing your hard earned money to realtor commissions, Fight to keep as much of it as possible.  There are lots of fish in the sea so if one realtor doesn't agree, find another.

8.  Make a list of all your vendor contacts (the car carrier, the moving company, your real estate agent, hotels you'll be staying in, your pets veterinarian etc.).  Scrambling to find a number while you're on the road is not always easy, so take some of the stress off yourself and be prepared.

9.  Plan on things not working out according to plan.  We had to move hotels after we arrived in Buffalo because the house we purchased ended up closing a day late and the hotel we booked for the previous two nights was sold out.  Not fun no, but when you're making a big move these things are bound to happen.  Prepare yourself mentally for a few bumps in the road.

10.  Like number 8, make a list of things you need to do post move.  All of the things I mentioned above, plus about a million others.  You don't want to wait until you have an emergency situation to find a doctor.  Getting yourself established in your new state as quickly as possible is key.  If you guys want, I can put together a checklist for you?  Let me know.

Sounds pretty overwhelming right, well it is, but the above will definitely help ease the transition a bit.  Would I do it again, in a heartbeat.  Will I do it again, never say never.  Have you guys made an out of state move?  What are some moving tips you have to share?

The Power Of Choice

Last week when I wrote this, there was this little nagging voice inside my head saying "don't do it. write about what you're grateful for instead."  I clearly didn't listen to that voice, but I'm glad to know it exists.  It's important to cultivate it, to make it stronger and to soften some of the other more negative voices that seem to take center stage more often than not.  Today, on a semi-bad day, I'm going to give it a try here.  Perspective is everything after all isn't it?

I'm so grateful for:

My job.  I may not be doing what I want in life (which is, I don't know), but I'm good at what I do and it pays the bills.

My man who gets me and who doesn't try to change me and all of my in-perfectness.  Ninety percent of the time he takes my mood swings with a grain of salt and he remains the calm balanced person I need him to be.  Super blessed in this department.

My trip to Las Vegas in 47 days!  Hotel booked, dinner reservations made, facial scheduled.  It's going to be a good one.

The flight I booked this weekend to San Francisco for a girls weekend in August.

My baby Beeps who turns 10 this month.

Beeps and I taking selfies!  Follow us on Instagram

The amazing chicken tikka I had for lunch today.

Black coffee, especially if it's served in fine china on a lazy Sunday at home and it's accompanied by some breakfast chocolate.

Garbage t.v. like the Real Housewives of anywhere and my newest find Southern Charm.  There's nothing like crappy reality t.v. to get you out of your own head.

The friendships I'm building here.

The beautiful sun that is still shining at 6:27!  Remember guys, I don't drive at night so this is freedom for me.

My new little Buddha gifted to me today by a co-worker.

Being childfree and getting to go to bed super early tonight to make up for the time change and staying up too late last night.

I guess the key is focusing on the things we're grateful for rather than the things that are disturbing us right.  What are you grateful for today?

Legally Blonde, I Mean Blind

Friends, this post title has been sitting in my drafts for six months now.  Six months without a single sentence written.  I knew from the beginning I wanted to write about being legally blind, I just didn't know what I wanted to say.  I still don't, but I'm gonna give it a go anyway.

Before I jump into the gory details, I want to make something clear. Some of this is gonna sound really shitty.  It may seem like I'm complaining or like I'm being all woe is me.  I know I'm not always Sally sunshine and my attitude about certain aspects in my life has been somewhat negative at times, you guys have bared witness to that.  This is NOT one of those times.  As strange as it is, I am in no way shape or form, nor have I ever been down in the dumps about my eye condition.  I am so thankful for the vision I do have.  I am so thankful that my Glaucoma has been under control for the last 9 years.  I am so thankful that I've been able to go to the top eye hospital in the country and that the best doctors in our country have told me that I'm doing everything in my power to keep the vision I do have for as long as I can.  If I can make it to 50 without going blind, whatever else happens will be ok with me.  I've made my peace with this. 

Now we'll get started.  This is me at 3, the age the doctors told my parents I'd be blind by.  Currently the uncorrected vision in my good eye is 20/400, my bad eye is 20/800.  We're talking can't see the big E with my bad eye people.

Here I am at 11 (feel free to laugh).  You've heard the term coke bottle glasses right?  Well, this is what they look like, bifocals and all.

This is my collection of glasses as of today.  Thankfully technology has advanced and my glasses have thinned out.  With the exception of the pair with the telescope of course.  Aren't they cute?  I had to get those while I was living in the great state of NY so that I could operate a motor vehicle.  Scary thought considering I just told you I can't see the big E right?  It may look like I've made an art of buying eyeglasses, but when you have 3 different prescriptions you're bound to have a lot of glasses.  I recently donated 6 pairs and was able to check off number 42 on my list of 101 Things In 1001 Days.  Also on that list are learning to read braille and re-reading Helen Keller's biography.  If you've got old eyeglasses sitting around the house, donate them please.  There are people in need (public service announcement over now).  

Ugh, I'm already getting ahead of myself.  Let me back up and start from the beginning.  I was born on August 27, 1979 with cataracts.  Yep cataracts, the disease that most people get when they're 80.  For those who don't know, cataracts are the clouding of your lens.  Your lens is what protects your eye.  Well, when you're a baby and you have your lens removed (the cataract) replacing it isn't an option because your eye hasn't fully developed.  Because  my lenses were removed before I was 1, they weren't replaced, because they weren't replaced, I attracted some other fun eye diseases like Macular Degeneration and Glaucoma (also typically old folks diseases).

No dramatics here folks, Glaucoma aka the silent blinder, will absolutely leave you vision-less if not treated regularly.  These are the Glaucoma meds I take everyday, two times a day so that I don't go blind.  On a positive note, because we have to look at the bright side of things right, the yellow drop makes your eyelashes grow really long and thick.  It's basically a souped up version of Latisse.  And...if I were a pot head, which I absolutely am not, I could totally use my Glaucoma as an excuse to get a medical marijuana card.  I reserve the right to redeem said card at the age of retirement.

I had a couple other surgeries as a kid (a muscle surgery because I also have a nystagmus) and then managed to go surgery free until thirteen years ago.  At age 22 my Glaucoma decided to spike despite taking my medication and I agreed to have what will be my last eye surgery.  You can only operate on something so many times and unfortunately in my case this last operation was the straw that broke the camels back.  I am in no way saying the procedure I had is not a viable option for Glaucoma patients, I am however saying that every time you operate on the eye, you're causing more nerve damage and in my case having a shunt/valve implanted into my left eye was not a good decision.  I'm going to refrain form totally bashing my Dr. at the time, but it is my belief that because of this surgery I lost a good deal of vision (like going from reading lines on the eye chart to having to have someone test your vision by holding their fingers up 6 inches from your face).  I am also going to refrain from bashing my parents for not asking more questions and/or recommending that I look at alternative options.

I should have done the same and post surgery I decided it was time for me to take my healthcare into my own hands (which I encourage you all to do).   I've been able to find some wonderful doctors who respect my choice to avoid any future operations and are willing to work with me to find the right cocktail of meds.  While we're on the subject, Glaucoma meds are no joke.  I've been on the above cocktail for 9 years now and I'm beyond happy to report that my eye pressures are 100% stable.  I'm so grateful that I found the will to continue on this regiment because for the first few weeks, I didn't think I was going to make it.  True story, the week I started taking Diamox I was so sick I missed the entire week of work.  After 4 days of being cooped up in the house, I decided to walk the one block to the dry cleaner to drop off some laundry.  Half way there I passed out on the side of the road and shit my pants.  I walked the half block back home in D's suit pants and died for another 3 days.   

I don't drive at night, I never have, but on the plus side, I've never have to be the DD.  I have to take a behind the wheel driving test every two years (even at 34 it's stressful people).  I can't wake up and see the alarm clock.  I can't do anything without glasses or contacts or both.  It's amazing how you adapt though.  I've taught myself so many ways to do the things I otherwise couldn't do because of my low vision.  For instance, typing without looking at the keyboard is a cake walk for me, it has been since pretty much day 1.  When you don't relay strongly on your eyes to do things, you learn to memorize a whole lot quicker.  I don't know how it happens, but it does.  I take pictures of things I can't see with my iphone and then I zoom in so I can read whatever it is that's printed super tiny.  People who can see well are always amazed when I share that trick.  I mean, if you can see why would you ever think to do that?

God, I think this is probably the longest post in the history of Brass Honey.  Like every other post, I share what I do because I think that there might be someone reading living through what I've been through.  If I can help someone in a similar situation, I want to.  It makes it all worth it.  I mean that's why were here aren't we.  Anyways, I know this post will not be relevant for most of my readers, but if nothing else you now know a little more about me.  Make the best of things friends.

Work Week Dinners From The Queen Of Take-Out

So back in November I wrote, Thanksgiving Recipes From The Queen of Take-Out.  If the message wasn't loud and clear there, I briefly touched on my inabilities and/or lack of desire to spend time in the kitchen here too.  A girls gotta eat though and as much as I'd love to eat take-out 5 nights a week, my wallet won't allow it.  Thankfully there are a shit ton of frozen meals and precooked options at the market these days.  Sadly I'd say about 90% of them taste like garbage or are packed with things that will allegedly kill us.  Have you seen the latest about how yoga mats and our bread are made using the same chemical???  Anyways, today I'm sharing the products I've found that are quick, easy and actually taste good.  The things that get D and I through the work week without starving or eating cereal every night.

First up and probably my favorite work night option are these little babies.  They are so flavorful and cook up in no time.  Last week I served them with white rice and roasted brussel sprouts (both of which took longer to cook then the meatballs themselves).  If you haven't tried these yet, do it, they are absolutely delicious and my top recommendation.

Next up and also delicious, may I add addicting (I've been known to eat an entire box of 8 by myself on more than one occasion) are these Whole Foods Tandoori Chicken Somosas.  Just delightful and they cook up in only 12 minutes.  Pair these with a nice salad and you're good to go.  Did I mention that they're ready in only 12 minutes!

I always, always have a few of these in the freezer.  I'm not crazy about t.v dinners, but these are great in a pinch and of all the t.v dinners I've tried (lets just say a lot), they are the absolute best!

When I really feel like rolling out the red carpet I'll cook up a can of Whole Foods spicy black beans, a pot of white rice and then I'll add a few cans of Bumble Bee jalapeno tuna in olive oil.  I'm usually not one to eat left overs but this keeps really well and is great for lunch the next day.  The jalapeno tuna is so flavorful and the olive oil gives the beans and rice a great coating.  Delish.

Couple these quick and easy meals with take-out from the local taco shop Carmens and a pizza from Mom and Doms and you now know how we stay alive.  You can thank me for making you all feel like domestic goddesses.  Now help a sister out and share your quick, easy and tasty work week dinner ideas. 

I Don't Want To Hustle

I get it.  I know what the hustle's all about, and it's great.  I've been hustling pretty much my whole life.  I was taking care of my little brothers, doing the grocery shopping and cooking dinner by the time I was 8.  I'm the first and only of my family to graduate from college.  I've built a successful career, a successful marriage.  If you've got it in you, I say go get em.  Just be careful.  The hustle is a way of life and once you're where you finally want to be, it's hard to change.  I don't want to hustle anymore. 

I know this is a reoccurring theme around these parts lately, and I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but so much of my time these days is spent trying to learn to relax and live a more carefree life.

On Thursday night I lost it in my therapist's office.  I started crying and couldn't stop.  The hustler is me is fighting so hard to stay in control.  Sometimes it feels like I'm losing the battle to be who I truly want to be.  Why can't I just take care of myself?  Lately I've found myself going non-stop.  I've been sick with a cold.  You know it's true what they say about your mental health affecting your physical health.  I haven't been taking breaks at work.  I was meant to spend Saturday in the office, but after my little meltdown Thursday, I decided I better take a step back.  Why does it always have to come to that, meltdowns?

I created this little stream of images to help me remember what's most important in this life, me.  I will slow down.  I will relax and I will take care of myself.

Right now I need daily, even hourly reminders to keep myself on track.  I'd love links to your favorite mantras/images.  Whatever it is that helps you be who you want to be.  Until next time friends, XO.

Oops, I Did It Again

It's confession time again.  Confession number one, I'm a liar!  I said I wouldn't make these posts a habit but here I am with another one just a week later.  What can I say, I'm hooked.  Reading them, writing them, whatever.  You guys seem to love them too so enough said.

My mind is all over the place this week.  Here are just a few of my more recent Google searches "Why the fuck won't my OB let me get my tubes tied?"  "Cat urns" and "Why do I keep having nightmares about a snake trying to get me?"

I think people who watch the Super Bowl for the commercials are lame.  People who talk about them the next day, even lamer.  That said, I saw the Budweiser Puppy Love commercial making the rounds a few days before the Superbowl and I have ti admit, I cried like a baby.  Now I'm here talking about it three days later.  Who's the lamest of them all.  Now watch the commercial and have a good cry, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQB7QRyF4p4

I ate an entire package of Double Stuff Oreos in less than 24 hours.  

I'm a total quiz junkie and have been since I got my grubby little paws on my first copy of Seventeen magazine.  Naturally I've been taking all the Facebook quizzes going around lately.  So far my Cinderella self should be living in NY and working as an Austronaut.

Unless the cart return is a spot or two away from my car, I don't return my cart at the store.  Yep, I'm that person.

Dear What?.  I confess that I'm an insensetive asshole and that all your comment managed to do is make me laugh, out loud.  Thank you.

   
Guys, seriously, these confession posts are a blast.  This is my first time joining in on Kathy at Vodka and Soda Humpday linkup, if you're at all inclined, you should too.  XO

Want To Meet Poochie?

Poochie and Beeps made their debut on the blog a few weeks ago in this post.  Some of you asked to see more of them around these parts, so here goes.  Meet Poochie aka baby lamb.

Isn't she cute???  Poochie and I are the best of friends.  She's my sidekick, my snuggle buddy, my faithful companion.  For those of you who say cats don't have personality like dogs do, I invite you to come meet my little love.  Poochie had personality from the get go.  Look at these pictures of her as a kitten (8 years ago).

One day I came home from work to find 30 pairs of socks scattered across the living room floor.  For days we strategized about what in the hell had happened.  Anyways, about a week later we saw her in action.  She definitely keeps us on our toes.

Like her mama, this little lady is obsessed with food.  She eats so fast half the time it comes right back up.  She insists that she be allowed to drink from the bathroom faucet at all times   We've actually contemplated getting a sensor faucet so we don't have to constantly help her get the water on.

This can is tenacious and she loves nothing more than destroying our door jams.

I mean, who does that.  We use to replace them but have realized it's all in vein.  A few months later they'll just look like this again.  But man is she sweet and loving and with a face like hers we've learned to take the good with the bad.

I hope you're all lucky enough to experience the kind of pure joy that Poochie has shown us.  Have a great weekend.  Anyone watching the Superbowl?  I'm going to try my luck with this recipe today (if I can get myself out of my pajamas and to the store at some point).  Wish me luck!

Ladies, Forgive Me

Ladies, forgive me.  It's been 8 days since my last confession.  Seriously, I just had to do this again.  I can't tell you how good getting seemingly little things off my chest made me feel.  Since I wrote about my indiscretion with a cigarette or two (here), I haven't thought about smoking even once.  It's like magic.  So here goes, round 2, and I promise I won't make a habit of this.

I shave my legs once a week, maybe.

I drive a brand new Lexus, but my 5 year old sheets have a hole in them.

Aunt flow is late.  Like weeks late, so after stressing for days and wondering if  I was pregnant, I finally cracked and took a pregnancy test.  It came back negative, thank god!  I'm mean I'm too old for this shit.  My little scare has however without a doubt confirmed my desire to NEVER have children.  We'll be beefing up to security big time.

I don't have a bank of blog posts so this ship could go down at anytime. 

I don't love my Clairsonic.

I've owned my Kitchen Aid stand mixer for 6 years now and have used it once to make instant pudding.  For years I kept in on my kitchen counter because I thought it was a status symbol (ridiculous right?).  Now I keep it stored away in a cupboard somewhere waiting for the day I magically become Susie homemaker, so basically when hell freezes over.  I could give it to someone I know would enjoy it, but I keep it because that's the kind of greedy person I am.  Please tell me I'm not alone here???

I saw this really cool OC Bloggers Brunch posted on The Nectar Collective earlier this week. My first thought was to register and go meet some new friends!  So why haven't I...fear.  Fear that I go and nobody talks to me because "they" all already know each other and they don't have room for me in their already full lives.  Or that "they" do talk to me and quickly realize that they don't like me.   

Don't judge and by all means feel free to unload, it really does feel so good.  Hugs friends. 

Stress Less, Tips For Reducing Stress

We all stress.  Some of us definitely stress more than others (me) and our reasons for being stressed may vary (work, family, money, health issues etc.), but the end result looks and feels the same:  Mind racing, pounding heart, elevated blood pressure, a sense of panic.  You get where I'm going with this.

Source

Three out of five days I bet if you walked by my desk, I'd look a little something like this.  Now in my defense, I do have a stressful job.  With a high profile project coming to completion, the last few months have been particularly stressful, but like I said above, we all have reasons we could be stressed out.  The key word here is could.  Like anything else, letting stress effect you is a choice. 

For years, maybe even a decade now, I've made the choice to be stressed out (I think most of us have, for different reasons of course).  For me, so much of my self worth was based on the job that I had, that I've conditioned my mind to work overtime.  I wanted so desperately to be successful in my career, that I made an overachiever look lazy.  I pushed and I climbed and I did whatever it took to prove myself worthy in the workplace.  I've been the ideal employee, a bosses dream.  Bravo for me right?  Wrong!  The "conditioning" I put myself though may have gotten me raises and promotions in the short term, and if I'm being honest, it definitely helped me get out of a really bad situation, but in the end, where it matters most, it's left me a stressed out mess. 

One of the many reasons I'm now in weekly therapy sessions, yep weekly, you read that right, is because at 34 I need to retrain my brain.  In layman's terms, I'm learning to slow my brain down.  I'm teaching myself how to live a stressful life without being stressed out.  I've made a conscious decision that 2014 is going to be the year I learn to lose the weight of the world, and for me a big part of that means losing a mind that runs overtime trying to achieve.  In just a few short weeks, I've seen an incredible shift in my attitude and in my stress level.  In no way has the stress I'm under gone away, I'm just learning to reduce the impact it has on my mind and body.  I'm not an expert but I've picked up some super, simple tips over the last month that I'd like to share.  Full disclosure, the exercises themselves are incredibly easy, it's implementing them into your daily life that takes work.

Tip #1 Self Regulation
Ever heard of it?  Me neither until a few weeks ago.  Man, what a positive impact this exercise has had on me though.  To get started you'll need to pinpoint your first signs of stress.  It didn't take me long to realize that in stressful situations my breathing instantly gets shallow and then the speed of my movements increases.  Once I knew what to look for, I put myself on alert.  The moment I'd notice my breathing get shallow, I'd take three deep breaths.  As soon as I noticed my typing speed increase, I'd stop typing.  If I'd start to walk fast, I'd immediately slow my pace.  By consciously looking for and then correcting these behaviors, I'm regulating my level of stress and ultimately stopping what could be a slippery slope.

Tip #2 Unplug
This is huge.  I think a big part of the reason so many of us are as stressed out as we are is because were over stimulated.  I know I am.  I'm not gonna go off and get all crazy about how bad technology is because I love my ipad as much as the next person, but what I will say is that when you're feeling stressed, the added stimulation isn't helpful.  If I'm feeling stressed out and my cell phone rings or a text comes in, I don't answer it.  In the past few weeks I've changed a lot of little behaviors centering around technology that have really seemed to help,  I've stopped listening to music in the car on my way to and from work.  I've also stopped watching tv or surfing the internet at least 30 minutes before I go to bed.  I don't need the extra chatter.  I've stopped using my lunch break to blog as well.  I mean how can I expect my brain to slow down when I'm constantly stimulating it???  

Tip #3 Go Outside
It's amazing what some fresh air and a 10 minute walk can do for you.  I use to say I was too busy to step away from my desk and if I did go outside, I'd use that time to make calls or return personal e-mails.  I guess something is better than nothing, but what I mean here when I say go outside, is really go be outside.  Let the sunshine warm your face or the breeze blow your hair.  Nature has a great impact on our moods. 

Tip #4 Just Breathe

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I mean the simplest of all concepts.  We have to breathe to survive right?  I know I mentioned my shallow breathing above but what I didn't mention is that there are days, no joke, where I don't think I've taken a deep breath until I get into bed at 10 o'clock at night.  Lately in my therapy sessions we've been spending a good half hour just breathing/meditating (pretty much one in the same).  I'm probably the only person on the planet paying their shrink to meditate with them, but hey, it's helpful.  The practice has helped so much that I now find myself doing it while I'm doing other things (like having full on conversations).  It's amazing!    

Tip #5 Visualize

If you guys follow me on Instagram (which you should) you've already seen my new little friend.  She is a reminder to be still and to be at peace.  I've had her on my nightstand for the last week and every time I look at her I visualize myself as calm and at peace as she appears to be.  There's a reason they sell this shit you guys.  I mean we all love our mantras, maybe you have your favorite saying or a reminder to yourself on your desktop or pinned up on your bathroom mirror.  Visual reminders help to keep us moving down the right path, they work.   There may be a third tattoo on the horizon...

Well that's it for my tips and tricks for now.  Like I said, these are super simple concepts.  The hard part is making them habit.  The good news though is that it really only takes a few weeks before these practices stop feeling forced and start feeling a bit more natural.  Again, I'm not an expert and I still have a long road ahead of me but for now these things really seem to be helping me manage my stress.  I hope they help you too and I'd love to hear what you guys do to keep yourself calm and at peace in this stressful world.