Wednesday, September 17, 2014

You Haven't Seen The Last Of Me

Tap, tap, is this thing on?  Right now it feels like I'm on a big stage all alone with a bright spotlight shining on me.  This space feels so big.  It seems so empty, and it's absolutely silent.

It's pretty strange being here, but it's oddly comforting too.  It's been six weeks since I've sat in this chair, in front of this computer, typing on this keyboard.  I'm not sure exactly where to begin and as per usual my mind has a million different thoughts running through it. 

I guess we'll go back to August 4th.

August 4th was my one year blog anniversary.  I let it slip by without even a mention.  I didn't celebrate it or honor it like I should have.  Instead I felt jaded about blogging.  I felt burnt out in general.  I didn't plan on taking a break but looking back now it's very clear that things were not moving in a positive direction.

I've thought about this space a lot since my last post on August 7th.  Here's what I know.

I'm not done blogging.  I've gone back and forth a least a dozen times.  Should I stay or should I go?  Initially I didn't want to quit because a year is a long time to dedicate to something and then just stop.  That's not a good reason to keep going though and that won't sustain me long term. 

From there I thought f*ck it.  Towards the end this place felt like a noose around my neck.  It was one more thing to be responsible for.  One more deadline to meet.  The thought of letting this self-induced, self-created stress go felt amazing. 

It took a while but I eventually came to find myself thinking about the beginning.  Why did I start blogging in the first place? 

I started blogging because I needed to meet new people and to build new relationships.  In the beginning that happened very slowly, but organically.  Someone would reach out via email because they'd read something I wrote and they felt a connection (or vice-verse).  We'd write back and forth, privately.  We’d get to know each other outside of blog post comments.  Those relationships are the relationships that have continued in spite of the fact that this space has been quiet for 6 weeks.  There's substance there.  That's what I came for.  

There's always a flip side though.  For every 1 quality relationship there were 20 built on the "comment for a comment system".  Nobody talks about it, but it's no coincidence that on days I didn't leave comments, I didn't get any either.  And the comments themselves, they felt so lame.  One liners like "oh my gosh your purple shoes are so cute".  I'm not saying that every comment needs to be deep and profound because not every post is deep or profound.  What I am saying is that without the real connection (the getting to know you behind the scenes) it's just not enough.   

I will not allow myself to entertain "comment for a comment" relationships again.  That is not a productive use of my time.  I will spend time really getting to know the bloggers behind the blogs that I still love and read every day (even if I've been silent lately).

Aside from building relationships, I also started blogging because I wanted to write about life in your thirties without children.  I still believe my demographic is greatly underrepresented and while I haven't done much to change that, I plan on it. 

I wanted a hobby.  Hobby Shannon, not another full time job.  I need to learn the difference!  I'm going to work on that one :)

I wanted to explore and get to know myself better.  Expressing myself here has without question helped me to see myself more clearly.  I'm funny (sometimes), I'm loving, I'm smart, I have something to share.  In my day to day life I feel like I'm very aware of all of my behaviors.  I'm always the first to point out when I've done something wrong or when I've behaved poorly.  It's important to me that I never stop learning and growing as a person.  This space has shown me all the different sides of myself.

For all the good I've seen, it's terrifying to see just how moody I am.  I was raised by a mother who suffers from mental illness so I'm constantly accessing myself looking for signs that I too might be plagued.  I spent a day rereading every post I'd ever written (143).  Then I reread them all again.  From happy, joyous and grateful, to overwhelmed, angry and sad.  Seeing the good sides of yourself is amazing, but seeing the ugly.  YIKES!  Worse though is knowing that you've shared those parts of yourself with the internet.  What was I thinking???  Why can't I be more censored? 

After feeling completely horrified I again started to think about why I was here to begin with.  Sharing the ugly parts of yourself on the internet for all to see is absolutely crazy, but it's also incredibly rewarding.  I’ve found a community of people who read this shit and still think I'm an amazing person.  I mean talk about complete acceptance.    

I wish I could hide the not so pretty sides and show you all only the beautiful parts of myself, but that’s just not in my makeup.  My hope is that this crystal clear picture of myself will help me make some necessary changes.  Without this space, I wouldn’t have that opportunity.

I wanted to be creative and to challenge myself.  Done and done.  I love being held accountable by this space.  I love the 101 in 1001 challenge. 

I guess what I'm trying to say here in a very long winded and roundabout way is that my absence here has given me time to think about whether or not I've gotten enough from this space in the last year to make it a part of my life for another.  After a lot of back and forth my answer is yes.  For all the bad, there is twice as much good and with a few tweaks I think year two will be even better. 
I've missed you and I'm coming back for more.  Hope you're all well.  Lots of love.  XO Shannon

Thursday, August 7, 2014

San Francisco, They'll Be No Pictures Of The Golden Gate Bridge Here!

What I learned in San Francisco:

1. I will never live in San Francisco.  What was I thinking?
2. I need more weekends with amazing girls like Yoli.
3. Good food is everything!
4. Tarot card readings are a complete joke. 
5. I'm a terrible singer. 

Meet Yoli.  We met back in the dorms circa 1997
We spent two blissful nights at the Intercontinental Mark Hopkins, home of the famous Top Of The Mark.  What an amazing hotel!  The staff were beyond gracious, even at midnight when we were on a mad hunt for carbs after what I'm sure was one too many cocktails.  I pulled the trigger and upgraded us to club level which was so worth the extra money.  Snacks, breakfast, cocktails before dinner.  Sounds like a good investment right?  Above all else though we felt safe which after walking through the Tenderloin (read the crime section) on accident was everything.  Thank you Mark Hopkins for being such a great home coming.

We arrived on Friday.  Yoli drove into the city and I flew into SFO.  Managing my way on BART from the airport to the Powell Street station was a breeze.  My trek up to Nob Hill, not so much.  Taxi service was a bit of a joke for a city as large as San Francisco but I finally made my way up California St. to the hotel where Yo had a bottle of wine waiting.  More drinks in the club lounge and then dinner at Farallon.

Oysters, one of my all time favorites.  These were so fresh.  
I love dinning with people who aren't afraid to try new things.  Yoli's octopus which was delicious.
Summer bean salad
My lemonfish which I'm pretty sure I could eat everyday.

My only real request this trip was that we find a karaoke bar.  In my twenties I was the karaoke queen.  Lord how times have changed.  The fearlessness is gone and all I'm left with is a horrible singing voice which I'm pretty sure is the same singing voice I had back then.  Only at least back then I would have been wearing a skimpy outfit so the boys would have still be cheering for me.  It's good to shake things up though.  I'm glad I made a fool of myself :)

So after karaoke, me insulting a bartender and a few more drinks it was time for those carbs I mentioned.  We ended up at Lori's Diner for malts, fried food and salad (just for good measure)  What is it about a night of drinking and walking the streets that makes me want chicken fingers and fries?

The next day I was totally impressed with our ability to be up and out of the room bright and early after not getting to bed until after 1AM #rally.

Our original plan was to walk to the SOMA food truck park but after a ten minute walk through a REALLY bad neighborhood (think used needles on the sidewalk from the previous nights escapades) we ended up spending the afternoon in the first safe neighborhood we got to.  God bless you Mission District.

Post-breakfast and pre-lunch empanadas

In our efforts to avoid the "hood" we took the bus back from Mission to 5th Street and then walked up to Chinatown

I probably could have taken the hat off the hook!

More eating, more drinking and then dinner at Michael Mina.

Abalone for the first time ever, so good.
My perfectly cooked lamb

Saturday was an early night, smacks and movies in the room.  Sunday was more exploring or rather me on a quest to find the Longchamp store.

Success, and what I'm sure will be the first of many of these little babies.
I had the best time and am so looking forward to girls weekend 2015 in Portland. 

Thursday, July 31, 2014

This Makes That All Worth It.

Flying to San Francisco tomorrow with an A boarding pass.

A great Thai lunch and discovering Thai tea.

Riding bikes yesterday #sofreeing.

Being married to a man I can pluck my chin hair in front of.

My favorite month of the year starts TOMORROW! Hello birthday month. This is the month I get things turned around and back on track.

Passing my driving test yesterday. Yeah biatches.

A long weekend.

A mani/pedi tonight.

Striping down to my undies last night and jumping into the pool out of the blue.

Waking up today and feeling like everything was going to be ok for the first time in a week, maybe longer.

Meeting Mariah in person next Friday!

This makes all of that worth it. What keeps you going? 

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Finally Hitting Bottom

Our den has never looked so beautiful to me.
It's actually a relief because there's nowhere to go but up from here.  Besides, it's not like I haven't been here before.  I manage to meander my way down this round about twice a year. 
For some reason this time around I didn't see it coming.  The descent wasn't as rapid and dramatic as it normally is.  That's a good thing.  That means I'm learning!  Maybe I'm handling stress better?  I don't know.  What I do know though is that I still don't take care of myself well enough to prevent this from happening in the first place.  The crash landing is getting less turbulent, but it's still a crash landing.   

I guess I should back up and explain what hitting bottom means for me.  It means that I've managed to get myself to the point where I have a hard time functioning in my day to day.  I still do it, but I have a hard time, a really hard time. 

It means that I'm over thinking everything, which means that I have an exhausted and overworked mind.  It means lots of self doubt and feelings of inadequacy.  It means withdrawing.  It means drinking too much.  Sleeping too much.  Worst of all it means being way too hard on myself.  I start to thinking "What's wrong with you?  Why can't you handle life?  Why can't you keep it together?"

These are the things I know prompt the downward spiral:  

1.  Taking on too much professionally.  "Yes, I can do that."  "Okay, I'll come in on Saturday." etc. etc. etc.  I've mentioned before that my work ethic largely defines me.  It's also how I pay my bills.  Working hard, making more money, that's what's going to allow me to retire at 50.  I don't need to be an "exceptional" employee at this point in my career though.  I can be an "exceeds expectations" or god forbid even a "meets expectations" employee at this point.  I've climbed the ladder.  In my head I'm okay with where I am professionally.  Somewhere though there's always something that keeps me pushing.  Habit maybe? 

To stop the madness I took Thursday and Friday off.  I wish I could say I wasn't online and that I didn't think about work.  Being at home was a step in the right direction though.  It's a start.   

2.  Over extending in my social life.  This space has opened me up and made me so much more aware of myself.  I know for a fact that my social life is thriving because of what this space is doing to me.  I can't explain it exactly but over the course of the last 4 months I've met and connected with so many new people because I'm blogging.  There have been trips to the gym, happy hours, parties, weddings, weekend visits etc.  I don't think I've had any downtime since before the 4th of July.  I'm beyond hapy to be building new relationships but there's got to be some balance.

As much as I hated to do it, I had to cancel my plans for this weekend in pursuit of some stay at home and do nothing time.  I've been listening to Pandora, trying like hell to avoid TV and social media, cooking (3 days in a row bitches) and sleeping a ton.  I don't feel completely rested, but I'm getting there.     

3.  Being too wrapped up in my iphone, ipad, TV etc..  I mean think about it, when you're perusing the internet for hours on end your brain is hopping from one thing to the next in a matter of seconds.  Shopping online, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, constant movement, constant stimulation.  When you start taking your phone to the bathroom with you so that you can browse IG, you've got issues.

On Friday and again today I will not touch my phone or the ipad.  I don't want to be connected to anyone  but me.  And no more taking my phone to the bathroom #ridiculous.

4.  Looking back.  There are times I think I'm petty for not putting aside my feelings and pursuing relationships I use to value.  Time and time again I get to a point where I'm about to reach out and then something will happen and I'm reminded of why I stay away.  There's always going to be "something", some kind of drama and for someone who takes things in as much as I do, it's too much to deal with.  I don't stay away because I don't love these people.  I stay away because I love myself more.  Even cracking the door to the possibility of a relationship leaves me reeling. 

Life is a never ending cycle of ups and downs.  There's nothing to say that you won't relearn the same lessons over and over again.  What's important is that you try your darnedest to improve these areas of your life and that you take the steps you can to make the landing a little smoother each time around.

That's it for today.  

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Hertz Don't It

I wish like hell I had had the foresight to take more pictures.  You know, pictures of the people laying on the ground with their luggage because they had been waiting for a car for over two in a half hours.  Or a picture of the 20 people sitting around outside waiting for their names to be called so that they could finally hit the road to wherever it was they were going.  

Some video of the people on their phones explaining to their families or friends that they were going to miss the fireworks (on the 4th of July), or the wedding rehearsal they had flown into town for. 

I did however manage to snap a picture of our ridiculously large car rental bill.

See the $600 line item for "Additional Products"?  We'll that's what it took to get the hell out the door.

I seriously feel like we were duped.  I mean, what's the point in making a reservation if you're not going to have a car for me when I arrive.  And not just me, like 20 other people, maybe more.  It was evident from the moment the Hertz shuttle pulled into the lot to drop us off that there was a shortage of cars.  

After an hour and a half in line Dar finally made it up to an agent who was kind enough to offer him a "Dream Car".  

Bare in mind, I've been outside feverishly looking for someone smoking (I never found anyone) while calling every car service/rental company within a 30 mile radius.  No cars available anywhere!  I'm hangry, the Hertz is starting to look like they're going to need FEMA to come in and it's almost dark.  

I text D letting him know that he better not come out without a car, so he does, with the only class of car they have.   

Now seriously, I don't know about you but if this was my business, I'm going to admit right away that I oversold reservations.  I'm going to do whatever I can to make it right.  That may mean giving you whatever car I have, no matter what the difference in cost, because I f*cked up.  If I have nothing to offer you, I'd find you another car with another agency.  If that doesn't pan out, I'd pay for your cab ride to wherever it is you're meant to be going. 
Hertz did none of that.  Instead they thought it wise to up-sell us by $600 for a less than 48 hour rental.  

At this point you're probably wondering when the life lessons are going to come in.  Well here they are.  

1. Despite Hertz overselling.  Having to drive an hour and a half in the dark to a location we had never been to before.  Completely missing 4th of July fireworks.  Arriving at our hotel at 11PM.  We had an amazing trip.  Don't let one setback screw up an entire getaway.  

It's safe to say our first 5 hours in Colorado were a bit rough but I'm happy to report that we turned things around after arriving at our hotel.  Dar's jaw was killing him (stress) and my stomach was eating itself so the first order of business was food/booze.  Thanks to the valet guys at our hotel we found the coolest little underground restaurant/bar which happened to be open late and serving dinner until midnight! 

We stayed in a great hotel with lots of history.  I've never stayed at a Wyndham property previously, but I'll absolutely include the chain in our rotation going forward.  The Mining Exchange was right up there with the Wynn Las Vegas and any Four Seasons in the service department.  Like in, I know I just valeted my car 5 minutes ago, but I left a bag in the back seat and now I need you to run however many blocks away my car is at 11:00PM on the forth of July to get it for me.  Which was done with a smile and was no problem at all.  Additionally, ya'll know I love me some good room service, my bedside breakfast did not disappoint. 

We had a blast on Saturday exploring the Broadmoor.  My god, what a beautiful property.  

I'd fly all the way back to Colorado just for the snacks and amazing cocktail I had at the bar!  Whiskey, lime and mint.  YUM, I mean how have I never had this drink before?

After gorging and relaxing for a few hours, we headed back to our hotel for the main event, the wedding.  We had the best time!  We met some amazing new friends, wished the bride and groom well, danced like we were 19 again, got silly drunk and laughed like crazy.

Lesson 2, Go hard and don't give up.  Even after you've hit a few road blocks.

I left any feelings of ill will towards Hertz in the gutter until we returned home.  Then it was GO time.  I spent Monday trying to dispute the "Additional Purchase" charges with Hertz billing.  The agent I was speaking with had no interest (or maybe it was no power) in helping me so she passed me off to the Hertz location where we had our reservation.  

I immediately asked for a manager and was given nothing but attitude right out of the gate.  My guess is the manager had been fielding calls like mind all morning.  He said and I quote "well you took the car didn't you". Why yes sir, I did take the car!  I mean I'm sorry but I wasn't about to spend the night in a Hertz waiting for YOU to make things right.  Fifteen minutes later he offers me a $100 credit towards my next rental with Hertz.  At this rate there will be no next time.  I graciously decline, hang up the phone and start screaming F*CK YOU internally.  

I take the next day to regroup and then I call Hertz' corporate office on Wednesday (thank you GOOGLE, no more of this 1-800 bullshit for me).  After explaining the issue and requesting a refund for the "Additional Purchase" charges to the 3rd person, I finally achieve some success.  While they won't refund me the full amount, they've credited me back 50% of the total charges.

Do not give up my friends.  I know dealing with shit that is not your fault sucks, but preserver,  I feel like I'm owed pain and suffering for having to waste my time calling around to make someone do the right thing.  I mean geez.  Is Customer Service dead?  I know it's not, but god, Hertz you need to go back to the drawing board.
The School of Life

Friday, July 4, 2014

What I've Learned About Living With A Homebody

I've previously mentioned (in this post) that Dar is a bit of a homebody and that I have a love/hate relationship with that part of him.  On one hand I'm incredibly grateful that my man loves our home as much as he does.  I don't have to worry about him ditching me on a Friday night to hang with the boys.  Our time together at home after a long work week is perfection.

There's a flip side though.  I crave adventure.  I love to explore new places and get out into the sunshine to enjoy the fresh air.  Being home for too many weekends in a row makes me cranky!  For 10 years now this gypsy has lived with a homebody.

Dar at home with his fellow homebodies.
 I've learned a thing or two I think some of you might be able to benefit from.

1. First and foremost, you should know that being a homebody doesn't make you lazy.  Dar has a very stressful job where he works his ass off  for 50+ hours a week.  Not to mention the work he does around our home.  The downside to that is that when the weekend rolls around, more often than not, he wants to avoid people at all costs which means staying home.

2,  You should also know that your man will tag along when it's really important to you.  With that said, pick and chose carefully and don't pull the "it's really important to me" card unless it is in fact really important to you.  

3.  This one is crucial!.  You've got to give your homebody ample notice when there's an event/outing you want them to attend.  When Dar and I have plans (really it's me with the plans telling him that it's really important to me that he be there) I make sure to let him know about them a month or so in advance.  Then, between the time I tell him and the actual event, I'll remind him weekly so that he doesn't feel thrown off guard when the event actually rolls around.

4.  It's also important to make the outing as easy as possible on your homebody.  Have the address for your destination plugged into the GPS.  If it's a night out where there's drinking involved, take a cab or get a hotel room so that there are no worries about over doing it.  A plan in place will help your homebody feel like the "situation" is under control.  Most homebodies are homebodies because they feel safe and in control at home.  Try to replicate that feeling as much as possible while your out.

5.  It's ok to go it alone.  Early in our relationship if Dar wanted to stay home, I'd stay home too.  I worried about what people would say or think if I showed up to an event without him.  "Oh god, they must be having marital problems" "He's never here with her" etc. etc..  I missed events that I really wanted to attend which left me feeling annoyed with Darren.  Ultimately I ended up mad at myself because I mean, how stupid.  Anyways, years later I now have no problem hoping in the car and flying solo.  In the end it saves us both a lot of grief.

6.  Like with everything else in life, balance is key.  At this point in our marriage we're in a pretty good groove and we both understand what the other needs to be happy.  I'm more than ok staying home with my homebody a couple weekends out of the month but the rest of the time I need to be doing something.  Whether it's a breakfast out, a walk on the beach or a night away, I've got to make it happen so that I feel like I'm fully living life.

Are you a homebody?  Is your partner?  What tips do you have to share about being/living with a homebody?

The School of Life

Sunday, June 29, 2014

The School of Life, Week 8

The School of Life

Happy Sunday!  Boy am I late to the party today :)  I hope you're all enjoying an amazing weekend.  If you've got some free time, link up with Mariah, Miriam and I for some schooling.  I think this week is a good one for me.  Lots of life lessons all about relationships.  Let's get started.

1. It's so freeing to just be yourself and let people see the real you.  Sure, it's scary at first, but in the long run, it's the only way to go when forming new relationships.  I use to mold myself into who I thought I should be in this crowd or in that crowd.  God that's exhausting and ultimately unfulfilling.  We all do it though, no?  Last August (probably before any of you were here) I wrote about feeling unsatisfied with existing friendships.  Since then building real friendships has jumped to the top of my priority list and made me rethink how I go about things. 

Last night Dar and I attended a party hosted by some new friends.  This was our first time being invited into their home.  As we pulled into their neighborhood the street was lined with cars, party goers.  It's normally a bit intimidating walking into a crowd of 60 people you don't know.  That was not the case here.  Everyone was so welcoming, so open minded, so tolerant.  Dar even played Slayer on the world coolest jute box which was followed by some Snoop and then the Village People.  Such a diverse and accepting crowd.

I came home on an absolute high and in complete ah of the friendships that these new friends have built over the years.  Young, old, married, single, employed, unemployed, tall, short, all done up, in a tee shirts and jeans, wild and crazy, calm, rich, not rich.  It was so refreshing to just be me and not worry about what anyone was thinking.  That happened only because everyone else there was doing the same thing.  Lose the facade my friends. 

2. Old friendships with people who knew you before you were anything will put the biggest smile on your face.  Clearly I'm not talking about being famous, rich or powerful when I say "knew you before you were anything".  What I mean by that is, when you're in college/high school, you really know very little about yourself.  At least I didn't.  It was a carefree time.  A time where I wasn't bound by self inflicted rules.  I went wherever the wind blew me, whenever the wind blew me.  I'm not stupid though.  I know that for every morsel of wonderful that time in my life brought, it also brought complete and utter confusion, epic mistakes, and feelings of being out of control.

With all of that said, there's something about spending time with people who knew me back when that just puts a smile on my face.  It takes me back to all the good that was that time in my life.  The bad associated with that time is gone though because I'm older and wiser now.  Thirty two more days until I meet Yo in San Francisco! 

3. Sometimes you just have to duke it out.  Every once in a while things will come to blows in the Kerns house.  We'll have to get into a knock down, drag out fight to get all the ugly out before we can move forward.  Marriage isn't always easy folks.  Anyone who's ever been married will tell you that.  What I do know however is that nothing worth having in this life is easy.  Stick it out.   

And now, just a random question before I go.  Do you think it's inappropriate to wear a white dress to a wedding?  Is white reserved strictly for the bride?  What if it's the bride's second wedding?  And what about red?  Is red too much for a wedding?  I'm trying to avoid buying a new dress for the wedding D and I will be attending next week and my two best options are white and red.  Let me know your thoughts.  Until next time.  Love to all.

Friday, June 27, 2014

It's A Good Day!

=It's A Good Day Linkup

It's a regularly scheduled work day and I'm at home, even if it means I have to work on Saturday.

I get to pick Darren up from the airport after he's been out of town for work all week.

It's warm enough to use the pool!

I can find my tweezers.

My nail polish isn't chipped.

I actually make it to the gym.  It feels so good but I still can't seem to make it more than once a week.

Beeps doesn't hiss at or scratch me.

The latest Nordstrom catalog arrives in the mail.

I have something yummy to eat at a new restaurant.

I get an email from a new reader who loves Brass Honey :).

I get to enjoy my morning coffee and am not feeling rushed because I hit snooze one too many times.

Now do tell, what makes it a good day for you?

Thursday, June 26, 2014

While The Cats Away, The Mice Do Play!

So Darren's traveling for work this week and in less than 72 hours I've managed to:

Stay up past midnight three nights in a row.  I'm normally in bed by 10:00.

Spend $200 at Pottery Barn.

Have every window in the house open while the AC is running.  I love fresh air, but I like to be cool too.  #shameless

Have a friend over to the house.

Throw caution to the wind by eating chips and drinking wine in bed.  Oh wait, that happens when he's here too.  Only, wait for it...there's nobody to complain about crumbs in the bed!

Eliminate the use of dishes.  Other than my wine glass of course.  I will add however that I've used the same glass two nights in a row.  Eating over the sink isn't half bad :)

Realize that taking the trash out to the curb sucks.  I should have thought about that this weekend when we loaded 4 cans full of yard waste.  When Dar dies, I'm moving to a condo with a trash chute.

Become addicted to yet another totally shitty reality show, Ladies of London.

Grocery shop like a weirdo: wine, candy, chips, fresh bread lunch meat and persian cucumbers?

Treat myself to fancy coffee drinks every morning.

Miss my man.  After the second night I was more than ready for D to come home.  I'm especially missing him today, on his 42nd birthday!  It sucks not celebrating with him.  We'll be sure to make up for it this weekend!

So now, two things I need to know from you:
1. How do you spend your time when your man's away?
2. My grocery store visit was clearly ridiculous.  What are your staple items when you're flying solo?

Saturday, June 21, 2014

A Half Written Post

The School of Life
1.  I got a notice in the mail today from the DMV letting me know that it's time to renew my drivers license.  Because I'm legally blind I'm required to take a behind the wheel test every two years.  It's a real blast let me tell you.  No matter how many times I take the test, I'm always a mess leading up to it.  In fact, between now and August I will most likely be a total wreck worrying about how my life would be if I wasn't able to drive.  Driving is a privilege, not a right.  Remember that.

2.  Sometimes you've just got to throw caution to the wind and live life.  One of Darren's college buddies is getting married in Colorado over the Fourth of July holiday.  We've been going back and forth on whether or not we should go.  Of course we want to, but traveling over a holiday is always so much more expensive.  We're still paying off vet bills blah, blah, blah.  It's kind of nice to just say fuck it sometimes and do the things you want to do even though you know they aren't the most responsible.  Here we come Denver!

3.  I'm spread too thin and I need to focus on me.  You guys, I know this is really abrupt, but I've been working on this post for the last two days trying to force something out and there's just nothing in me to give right now.  There's way too much going on in my brain.  Thoughts are swirling around like leaves in the wind and I can't seem to catch a single one of them.  I haven't been taking very good care of myself since we lost Poochie so I'm going to go and do that now. 

I hope you're all well.  XO 

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Call Ya On Tuesday

So I'm super excited and am going to go all PDA on you guys right now. Mariah and I talked on the phone for the first time last night and it was great.

My thoughts before our call:
1. Oh god, what if I don't like her.
2. OH GOD, what if she doesn't like ME!
3. How many Shannon type things will I say that will offend her or will make me sound like a total snob?
4. God, I hope it's not all awkward with lots of dead silence?

My thoughts after our call:
1. This person is meant to be in my life.
2. I'm so glad she has an southern accent.
3. Mariah is really funny!
4. I can't wait for our next call and to get to know her better.

Three thing D said after I told him we spoke:
1. Oh god, you didn't give her your social security number or anything did you?
2. Did it sound like she was calling from Nigeria.
3. She didn't ask you for your credit card number did she?

Now, because I think people do all kinds of strange things while they're on the phone, I will confess the weird things I do.  I'll point out my poor phone etiquette too. They'll be a star next to the things I did while talking to Mariah last night.

*I talk over people (I hate it).  It's not that I don't want to hear what the other person has to say or that I think what I have to say is more important.  It's just that I get so excited sometimes.  I'm like a puppy chasing it's tale.  I also have a tendency of forgetting things so I blurt out whatever’s on my mind immediately.  If I don't, POOF, it's gone.

I go to the restroom.  Number one and two. So that the person I'm talking to doesn't know I'm going to the restroom, I'll either flush the toilet and run out of the room, or, I'll flush the toilet and then run the water at the sink on full blast.

I bathe.

I pluck my chin hair.

I surf the web.

*I talk to my cats in baby voices.

*I pace the house, I just can't seem to sit still while I'm on the phone.

Now I need to know, have you guys chatted on the phone with your best blog buddies? What types of weird stuff do you do while on the phone???

Saturday, June 14, 2014

The School Of Life Linkup, Week 6

The School of Life

I hope you're all enjoying your weekends.   It's almost Sunday here in Californian so that means it's time for a little Sunday school.  Please do me a favor and share your life lessons in the comments below, or even better, link up with Mariah, Miriam and I.  So what did life have to teach me this week?  Let's get right to it. 

I'm a weekend blogger.  I write all my posts, read all of your posts and respond to e-mails, on the weekends.  You probably already know that though because instead of getting 1 comment from me here or there, you get like 3 at once :).  Blogging didn't start out that way, but I realized this week that it's been like that for awhile now.  My darn jobs getting in the way of my hobby!

Holidays and occasions aren't the time to speak to the people you don't speak to.  You might not know this, but I don't communicate with my parents.  Well intentioned people who know this to be the case are always asking me if I'll see them when the holidays roll around.  This weekend, "so are you going to see your dad"?  Um no, if and when I decide that our relationship is something I want to pursue it won't be on some holiday or occasion because it's expected.  It will be because I actually want to connect with them.

Marriage is all about compromise, but we all know that already don't we?  That doesn't stop us from wanting to get our way.  Dar and I have these power struggles from time to time.  When we're buying a house (I want a small condo, he wants a house with land.  When we decide to move to a new state (I want to move to CA, he wants to move to NJ).  Most recently were going back and forth trying to decide on the breed of our new kitten (he wants a Bengal, I want a Persian).  We get into these heated debates and I have to constantly remind myself that neither of us is going to agree to make a big life decision unless we're both on board.  So we end up with a house in California with a Savannah cat.  We'll eventually get there though compromise.

Speaking of marriage and relationships in general, do you know what your love language is?  I didn't until recently.  D and I both took this quiz and found it to be thought provoking.  Knowing the way your partner perseveres love is pretty cool.    

Making macaroni and cheese without butter is a bad idea.  Enough said.

That's it for this week.  Now grab a button and linkup :)