Monday, May 26, 2014

Finding The Girl With The Rabbit

There are parts of myself that I sometimes think are long gone.  That's life though isn't it?  We're continuously changing, growing, moving forward.  In so many ways I love who I am, but I also long to hold onto the girl who hid a rabbit in her dorm room because she couldn't bare the thought of not having a pet.

Freshman year, 1997
 The girl who wasn't afraid to sing karaoke in a crowded dive bar.

The girl who rode dirt bikes.

The girl who took a tickle me Elmo to college with her.

The girl who watched Pretty Woman and Beaches on the weekly.

The girl who's uniform was a pair of Levis, a worn pair of Birkenstocks and a tee shirt.

The girl who never had her nails done and almost always wore her hair in a pony tail.

The girl who's idea of fun was a bonfire and cheap beer.

The girl who didn't care what anyone thought.

The girl who had a blue streak in her hair because why not.

The girl who thought the Red Lobster was a fancy night out.

The girl who didn't need things to make her happy.

The girl who wouldn't dream of sleeping with anything but the quilt her grandma made her.

The carefree girl.


  1. Not sure I can relate to this as I don't even know who I am yet, lol. But giiiiiirl you sound Sasha Fierce, dirt bikes and karoke! Pretty Woman, ahhh I love that movie. You should totally have a throwback night with D with all of these things, even the blue hair streak! :)

    Though some of this is growing up right? And those 'things' that make you happy now that's nothing to feel guilty about, you've worked very hard to get to where you are and if you can't spend some of your hard earned $$$ on yourself every now and then well I'll be damned.

    Carefree is something I think a lot of us wish we were but just can't be, there's some things I need to know the outcome of or have control over for my sanity.


  2. Some of those things are growing up, and a lot of it is actually just responsibilities replacing other stuff, and your idea of fun changing. And that's okay, we're always changing, so it makes sense that our idea of fun would also. I also think it's normal to yearn for a simpler time, when we were more free and more fearless and a little more reckless too.

  3. She is there somewhere (at least pieces) and she got you to where you are today :) Things change, we change hopefully for the better, but there is always good and not so good. Also, I think it is easy to idealize the past...maybe it seems to be carefree from a distance but I'm sure you had different worries (maybe not and that is just me) :) Can you pick back up some of the things you miss about your younger self?
    I read this article today about how you should cultivate skills you actual need and let things go that you don't. This woman said "how she never be able to do public speaking like the author" and the author asked her why, and did she need it for any part of her life or job development and the answer was no...not at all. Not having that skill was not hindering her or something she really needed or wanted at all, she just thought she needed because well we think we should have every skill available even if we don't need it or really want to obtain it. I think the same is true in other areas of life. Hugs S!!

  4. I love this. Sometimes it is good to retouch with your old self. <3

  5. I think she is still there, in a different version. Change isn't bad, it't the natural course of life, and the changes we undergo make us grow. You are one tough chick though, you know that? Can I tell you that I have never been brave enough to sing karaoke? I kinda want to put in on my bucket list, but I'm just not sure...
    I love this post! Very simple yet thought provoking.

  6. I remember when Red Lobster was fancy!!! My how things change when we get older. I guess that it's just life.

  7. There are parts of my old self I don't miss at all and parts I miss like crazy!