Sunday, March 2, 2014

Where I'd Be If It Was Only Me

I let myself go there this weekend.  I mentioned (here) that I sometimes have these fears that D is going to die at work and that I'll be left a young widow.  There's something really powerful and comforting about knowing where I'll go and how I'll live if that ever does happen.

I'm in San Francisco in the tiniest little house, more like a stand alone room.  My little house is in the shadow behind a big huge house.  It's shielded from the busy street.  It's just me, and the cats of course.  No car, no stove, no tv, it's a very simple quiet life.  I go to work, I take long walks, I do things I don't do now.  It's the first time I'm ever really alone.   


  1. Replies
    1. That was my first thought, too! Second one: no car? No!!
      But what beautiful pictures! Really really love that first photo, it's the perfect room.

      I think about that same issue way more than I should. Right now Richard has been away for almost 2 weeks, and I always secretly view it as a "trial run" of what it would be like without him if something happened to him. I know I could survive - but I don't know if I would ever be really happy again.

      Hopefully that won't happen to either of us for a very long time!

  2. I struggle with the same fear occasionally. I try to tell myself "There aren't many 22 year old widows, it's highly unlikely."
    I'm pretty sure my plan is that I'd move back in with my family. I could support myself, but I'm not really the "live alone" type, and I've always thought it's more efficient to have people to share the housework with anyway. And I would want to get married again. Someday, I'm sure I would. But man...I don't want to think about that kind of stuff.

  3. no tv...say, what! although my friend is travelling to france and basically living like that for the next 8 weeks. it sounds divine.

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda

  4. I wouldn't mind being alone if that was my life. Although I'd like a TV.

  5. I think if I had to be on my own I might need the beach. I'm pretty sure I would be one of those widows that would hate to leave her house, though. I don't like to think about it, but I guess it is helps to have a plan :)