1. I am grateful for Darren's unconditional love (see today's journal for more).
2. I am grateful for my will. It's insane. It's never ending. You'd think I'd tire of pressing on but I never do. It's cyclical. Twice a year things get really bad. I take a step back, sometimes two steps back. The backsliding seems damming but I always find myself a few steps ahead of where I was when it's all said and done. It's always painful. It's always ugly and it's always exhausting. The growth I see in the aftermath is mind blowing. It's always worth it.
3. I am grateful for my free to me gym membership.
As soon as I woke up I thought of Darren and how grateful I am for his unconditional love. The night before I was having "issues" and in typical fashion Dar just rolled with it. I think it's important to let the people we appreciate know how we feel about them so at 5:00AM before either of us was fully awake I said "Hey baby, I have something I need to talk to you about". He rolled his eyes which completely annoyed me and made me no longer want to tell him how I was feeling. I'm pretty sure he thought I was going to carry on with the previous nights shenanigans. Anyways after a few minutes of being pissy I started again and told him how grateful I was that he put up with "all this" (pointing to myself) and still found it in his heart to love me.
This time he looked at me with kind loving eyes and said he wished I saw myself in a better more positive light because "all this" is wonderful. I then proceeded to cry because that's what you do when the person you are most grateful for makes you feel the same way.
At lunch a co-worker and I biked over to the Headquarters at Seaport Village for some power shopping at Kitson and Seaside Papery (I'm obsessed). The sun had peeked out and it was a glorious ride.
After work I took a more traditional route and went to a 60 minute cross training class with an obscene amount of squats and planks/pushups. I'm sore today but it feels great.
Despite having practiced meditation in the past I am still a beginner and rely on guided meditation. If you guys know of any via You-Tube please share, good ones seem quite hard to find. Anyways, after work, the gym and dinner I laid down on the couch for twenty minutes of breathing and positive affirmations. Tomorrow I think I'll spread it out so that I'm meditating for 10 minutes at a time, maybe once in the morning and once in the evening.
Random Acts of Kindness:
I shared my delicious egg white breakfast panini from Bottega Americano with a co-worker. It was so good and so satisfying that I wanted her to experience a bit of the pure joy I was experiencing.
I also found myself sending extra loving messages to those I emailed/texted throughout the day.
Wishing you all a beautiful day.